The Return to My Motherland after a Decade
Taiwan is a place that I grew up learning about from the lens of my mom. She grew up there, and immigrated to the States at 15. For her, the country has always carried a strong sense of home, belonging, and nostalgia. I remember avidly listening to her numerous childhood stories — buying a baby chick on the way back from school, eating all sorts of yummy street food and sweets on the daily, and all the antics she got up to in her primary school days.
I first visited the country when I was 12. At this age, everything is impressionable. I remember the long, long journey from the US and trying my first bowl of 碗糕 (‘wah guay’) right after arriving in Tainan. It was so delicious, it almost made me forget about the much-needed slumber that my body screamed for.
From the first day in the country, my time in Taiwan was filled with food, family, and food with family. We visited 夜市 (night markets) almost every night, filling our stomachs with boba, dan bing, and everything in between. I got to meet my cousins, uncles, and aunties for the first time. I became instant friends with one of my cousins, Shin En — we were dancing and singing together after a short 2 weeks together. We had connected so well that after I left, we skyped every Sunday morning (which was Sunday night for her) for almost a year. As life went on, our Skype calls fizzled out, but we always kept up with each other’s lives with social media.
About a decade later, so much has changed, but I decided to return to my motherland after finishing college and reunite with my family there. The biggest difference was that this time I went by myself. I was so nervous for many different reasons. What if my mandarin is completely non-existent and I wouldn’t be able to get around? It wasn’t the idea of navigating around a foreign (yet also very familiar) country that worried me, it was more the embarrassment of being unable to understand my first language in the country that my family is from.
I’m glad that the worries I had before embarking on this trip didn’t stop me from going. It turned out that my mandarin wasn’t that terrible after all (although it definitely needs a lot of fine-tuning), and seeing my cousin again after a decade felt like reuniting with an old friend. We bonded about life experiences in our 20s, and she showed me around Tainan and Kaohsiung. We went shopping, ate delicious food, and of course, got my haircut (a must-do when returning to the motherland). During the times that she was busy studying, my uncle and aunt took me around by moped and showed me all some important landmarks, and of course, treated me to all the delicious foods. It was a bit of a nostalgic experience, seeing everyone again and reliving things that I knew I had seen the last time I was here, many years ago.
Growing up in the US, my family and I rarely returned to Taiwan. The journey was not only expensive but also incredibly far, and with both of my parents working so much, finding the time for such a trip felt almost impossible. It wasn’t until my 20s that I understood the importance of staying connected to my roots and preserving that part of my identity. After that trip, I made a promise to myself: if I am fortunate enough to have the time and resources, I will always prioritize returning to Taiwan and deepening my connection to my culture.
Until next time, Taiwan.
-Emily
